Bullshit and Darkness
by therobotfangirl
Summary: My somewhat au of the aftermath of chapter 500. Gray found out that Natsu is E.N.D and rage blinded him. His feelings are too strong and overwhelm him. How long till he snaps out of it? Really miniscule Gruvia and Nalu if you find it. Gratsu bromance. Some slight swearing, T to be safe.


Gray was furious, hatred consumed his heart, rage clouded his vision , the weight of loss; heavy on his shoulders. The recent information given to him had shocked him. Betrayed. That was the only word that could describe how Gray was feeling. Each thump of his heart was a constant reminder that Juvia's blood ran through his veins, it was the constant reminder of her sacrifice, the constant reminder f her death. His fists clenched, as he approached Natsu, gritting his teeth, every time the image of her angelic face flashed into his mind.

"How could you?" he shouted, his voice hoarse since his throat felt scratchy from his crying, "You took _everything_ from me"

His fist flew through the air and made contact with Natsu's cheek. Instantly a purple bruise began to form from the impact.  
In response Natsu blankly stared at Gray, confused by his sudden frustration, "What?"

Tired of Natsu's oblivious nature and his so-called innocence, Gray grabbed a fistful of Natsu's scarf, the softness of the fabric slightly brushing his fingertips. Roughly, he pulled him towards himself, so Natsu was completely facing him, fully looking into his pain stricken eyes.

" _Did_ you know?" Gray's voice became frantic, his mind grasping for a single shred of sanity. " _Do_ you know? Do you know _who_ …" he racked his brain for a word, he kept reminding himself that he wasn't human. His glare intensified on Natsu, his eyes not wavering an inch. Quickly, he came to a conclusion to what he was going to say to him, "Do you know _what_ you are?"

Natsu was at a loss for words; he was truly confused at what Gray was saying. He could tell that words were spilling out of his mouth, but they never were processed into his mind. It all sounded like a bunch of gibberish to him. His words seemed foreign and he struggled to understand. He shook his head of thoughts, "Gray, snap out of it." he finally said, "I don't know what you're talking about."

Gray scoffed, "Don't act so naïve Natsu. I know you're E.N.D! You are the reason I fear the death of everyone I love."

Something clicked, not for long, but something clicked in his mind. He realised that he didn't know what he was saying anymore. He was trying to convince himself that it was all Natsu's fault, but really it wasn't. He was trying to convince himself that Natsu deceived him all his life. The thought didn't last long and being the stubborn person he was, he continued with his belief of Natsu destroying his happiness.

"Is the ice in your brain stopping you from thinking?" Natsu knew it was daring to say that, considering the state Gray was in, but he desperately wanted to say something,anything really, just to get his friend back. "Don't blame this on me. We are nakama, and nakamas are supposed to steal each others pain not give it. I wouldn't do anything intentionally to hurt my nakama."

The words swirled in Gray's head but they never seemed to sink in.  
"Stop talking bullshit. Your fucking pep talk is not going to stop the fact Juvia is still dead!"  
"Juvia?

Pupils began to swing side to side; Gray's eyes became feral. A hysterical laugh snaked it's way out of his mouth, " Yes Juvia." he hissed, his voice breathy,

"Want to know the names of more people that you took and their fate? Ur. Dead. Ultear. Dead .My parents, Mika and Silver. Dead. All taken away from me because of you."

A little pit of burning fury erupted inside of Natsu, "At least you got to know your parents. I thought you were better than this Gray. I know you have that solid ice figure on the outside and you love to hide your feelings, but I never thought of you as selfish." He spat, his words laced with poison. True, Gray was a total ass sometimes, but this. This was different. Natsu abhorred this side of Gray and he wanted it to stop.

"Have you ever thought about how _I_ felt." He couldn't help it, it was a touchy subject that he kept locked away in the deep depths of his heart, but he had to talk about it. It was his only hope to get Gray back. It was against his will, but he couldn't help it; he began to cry. Tears, glistening like sparkling diamonds, cascaded down his cheeks." _My_ parents," he stuttered, his voice beginning to crack every now and then, "don't remember them, also dead. My father figure Igneel. Dead. I'm sorry for Juvia, but I can't really exactly say that I lost the love of my life." He thought for a second, his memories on a movie reel, playing on a loop in his mind, "Oh wait but I can. _Twice_. I _loved_ Lisanna only for me to think that she was dead for a year. And then I saw the future self of the one I _love_ die, right in front of me. Then I am bombarded with the news that Zeref is my long lost brother, and that I'm E.N.D." Each word crescendoed after the other, the meaning of each and every single word intensified. " _Wow_ Gray you have it hard," he sarcastically said, "and no-one can come close to your agony. And I'm sure that Lucy and Erza wouldn't understand the pain of death either. Seeing that they don't blame the death of others on people who have **_nothing_** to do with it."

His grip on Natsu loosened. Two waterfalls fell from his eyes, the throbbing feeling in his throat coming back. Bringing his free hand to his face, he vigorously wiped the tears away.

"I just want her back." he choked out, his salty tears trickled onto his tongue. "I _need_ her back."

Natsu held out hand and gave him one of his famous smiles, "I am your nakama and I will steal your pain." Gray snorted at that. Natsu didn't take any offence to it, it just meant the old Gray had returned, "It may sound like shit is coming out of my mouth but I mean every single word I say."

Gray's hand wavered a bit, he was hesitant, he knew Natsu wasn't lying. Why would he? They were nakama after all.

* * *

 **I really wanted to make Juvia appear but the concept of the lover saving the other is quite cliché. Natsu and Gray have similar situations and a talk would help.  
Read, review and fave if you like.  
**


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